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Why is there a light in the fridge?

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there light in the fridge?

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A sincere compliment

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly….. She is not your friend anymore.  

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A heartwarming story about a girl who bonds with some construction workers

A heartwarming story about a girl who bonds with some construction workers This is truly a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers. This makes you...

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You’re one stack of sh!t away

You’re one stack of sh!t away from an episode of hoarders.  

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I’m jealous of my parents

I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as their.  

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I’d like to help you out

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?  

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My dream job

My dream job would be driving the karma bus.  

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Being happy doesn’t mean everything is going good

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is going good. It just means that drugs are working.  

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Please don’t interrupt me

Please don’t interrupt me, while I’m talking to myself.  

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Christmas shopping done

Christmas shopping done. I got everyone a box with a note in it that reads: “Sorry, the world was supposed to end. So I didn’t get you anything…..Blame the Mayans!!”

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